There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
