if i can run in heels then i can drive
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
