Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
