im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
