He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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