how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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