Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry SizzlinFingerJak hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(301): View more from Maryland

do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"

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(818): View more from California

Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award

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(740): View more from Ohio

I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this

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(210): View more from Texas

We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".

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(631): View more from New York

Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I believe they call that patchouli.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

FUCK THIS BIRD

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(903): View more from Texas

I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name

(425): View more from Washington

I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER

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