You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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