too bad you live with your parents still
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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