so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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