Don't you send me to vm
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
