I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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