i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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