Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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