At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
