I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
