so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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