come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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