party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You can't special order awesome
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
