so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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