You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
