that's an acceptable place to lick
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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