we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
