Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
