I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
