so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
