ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you win again, gameday.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
