Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
