Christians are straight up FREAKS
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
