That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
