I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
