after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
