He kissed a someone with a penis
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
