There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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