I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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