Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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