Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
This girl is more easily done than said...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
