I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
