Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
