he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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