While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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