i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
