you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
