Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
