Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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