Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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