my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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