I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
