i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I think your dad took our porno
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
