so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Im part way to drunk.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
