why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
