Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
