Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
