you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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