we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
