this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Your topless pictures make me question reality
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
