i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
