Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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