My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
